Just a little laugh.

Every so often I’ll get a funny quote or meme from Julie out of the blue.

It’s her way of bringing a smile to my face and letting me know I’m on her mind.

I thought I’d share the latest.

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photo. Eatliver.com

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The most bizarre thing

A few weeks ago I sent an email to a woman that I knew in high school. We weren’t very close, but I remember thinking very highly of her, at the time.

As was common in our community of military brats, her family moved away. To the Midwest, in fact. (Small world, huh?)

I was having a conversation with one of our mutual friends and her name was brought up. “Hey, do you remember Janet? Apparently she is living in that town where your firm is inspecting all those bridges!”

I didn’t think too much about it until recently. In my mind, I thought it might be nice to say hi and see how life has turned out for her. Possibly grab a cup of coffee and catch up on what’s been happening in our respective worlds over the past 27 years. So, I searched the internet and found an email address for her.

“You were brought up in a passing conversation with Felicity a few weeks ago and curiosity got the better of me. I don’t even know if you remember who I am but I was wondering how have you been?”

insert crickets chirping here.

Well, I never got a response. Ok. That’s happened to me before and I know I’ve been the one to refuse contact with someone from my past. I can take a hint. There’s also the possibility that the email address I sent it to is no longer valid. Whatever the reason for the silence, I dismissed it and moved on.

Tonight I get a text from another mutual friend. “Did you contact Janet?”

We began talking about the initial conversation that made me think about her and what prompted me to send her a note. She did get my email. She read it and even thought parts of it were funny. Then she deleted it because she claimed that “no good can come from this!”

Apparently, she saw me contacting her as me wanting to start a relationship with her. WTF???

Now, I’m sure she’s a wonderful woman. She too works for a University and has been successful in her life. I never thought much about it but always assumed she married (a man) and ended up having the proverbial 2.3 children that all women our age are statistically inclined to have. Never imagined she was gay, and quite frankly, never cared either way.

Flash forward 27 years and she has since come out of the closet and is living with her partner of 10+ years (my math may be off but judging from my texts with our friend, that’s the timeline I get)

All I could say to this whole ordeal is “WOW!”

Now, I’ve held a torch for Julie for my entire adult life. But that was different. We were intimately involved with each other. There was no closure or satisfactory resolution to our break up. A long sustaining crush is understandable.

Why this woman would think that after 27 years I’d decide I want to pursue a relationship is beyond me. I don’t even know this woman. Truthfully, I didn’t know her very well when we were kids. (As is evident by me being WAY off the mark with regards to her sexuality)

Do people actually think real life plays out that way?

“I’ll contact so and so. We’ll get to know each other and fall madly, deeply in love!!”

I’m a little taken aback by her thoughts on this. I’ve read and re-read the email I sent her and even forwarded it to Julie, J Will and J Mac. Who knows? I tend to be flirtatious so maybe I inadvertently said something to give her the wrong idea.

The general consensus is a unanimous, “is she crazy??”

I’m not sure what to do with this information. If I were to bump into her while working up there, I’ll feel awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t intend to contact her again, for fear she’ll see that as further evidence of my long distance, long term infatuation.

Everyone I’ve talked to about this that knows her claims she an intelligent, rational woman so her being bat shit crazy doesn’t seem to fit this scenario.

I don’t know what to do.

People that still associate with me, her and Julie might get the wrong idea. Those who don’t know me or know that I’m perfectly happy in my relationship might assume I have ulterior motives for reaching out.

Whatever the case, I think I’ll climb back into my bubble with Julie and silently wish Janet and her partner all the best.

Has this ever happened to you? Someone from your past reaches out and you think they are looking for a romantic connection? Or has someone thought that was your reason for contacting them?

This just blows my mind!!

Make shift Indian cuisine

It is almost impossible to find decent Indian (or Mediterranean) food in Illinois, outside of Chicago, that is.

Because of that, what little bit that Julie has been exposed to, she didn’t care for.

One of the few saving graces of Houston, however, is the abundance of different ethnic restaurants. Mexican, Korean, German, Indian. You name it, they’ve got it.

Today we ate lunch at Chili’s. Just another typical chain. A decent “go to” place when you really don’t know what you want. I ordered the chicken pasta and she ordered a sampler platter. As we shared lunch off of each other’s plates, I mentioned how I hadn’t had Indian in a while and we should do that tonight.

Needless to say, she turned up her nose and professed her dislike of all things curry.

Oh my God. Is this going to be our deal breaker?? Is my love and adventure for food going to clash with her meat and potatoes palate?

After a little poking and prodding, I discovered the reason behind her dislike. “It’s too much tomato sauce”

Huh??

Anyone who has ever had good Indian food can tell you that it should, in no way shape or form, be comparable to “tomato sauce”!!

So… After a brief pleading and a compromise, I have convinced Julie to let me fix Chicken tiki masala tonight. The compromise? I’ll leave the sauce off some of the chicken just in case.

I spent the better part of the afternoon trying to hunt down a grocery store that sells all the ingredients I need. Finally, with my bag in tow, I stopped at the only “Mediterranean” restaurant and bought several pieces of naan. Not only could I not find any, I have no time or knowledge to make it.

Anyways, as I was waiting for them to fix my naan, I asked the server why someone would refer to their food as “tomato sauce”?

Her response? “The owner thinks the Americans will think it’s too spicy so he doesn’t put much spice in it.”

Well, there’s an answer for me.

So, Julie will be home shortly, I have naan (which is actually pretty good), the masala sauce simmering, the rice in the cooker, and the chicken ready to go in the skillet.

Hopefully, the fact that I’m not shy with my cumin makes this worthy of a her trying real Indian food sometime.

Disclaimer; I realize that chicken tiki masala is not an “Indian” dish but I can make it fairly well, and it’s close enough.

The Chick-Fil-A debate from a lesbo outsider

It appears I have managed to start a “shit storm” by posting my opinions of the whole Chick-Fil-A debate on my Facebook.

I am gay. I live, happily, with my partner and our 5 at home kids.

We have a home, bills, jobs (thankfully I can now say that), arguments, pets and all the other things that go along with having a family.

Regardless of what anyone else thinks, we are a family!

But, my opinion of Mr. Cathy and his restaurant is not what most would think it is.

I like Chick-Fil-A. Yes, you heard me right. I like Chick-Fil-A.

I’ve never been denied service, my food has been of the quality if expect from a fast food restaurant and I’ve never been made to feel uncomfortable while dining there.

People in the gay community are in an uproar because Mr. Cathy announced that yes, his company is run on biblical principals and in his opinion that means marriage consists of one man and one woman. (he actually said that a man married to his first wife. But you don’t hear polygamists in an uproar)

I heard a saying when I was in the Army that has since stuck with me.

“Freedom of speech was not given to you by a newspaper. Freedom of religion was not given to you by a priest. Freedom to assemble was not given to you by a protester. It was given to you by the same soldiers, who will die to protect your right to burn the very flag that will one day be draped across their casket.”

We all hear phrases thrown around like freedom of speech, freedom of the press, etc.

And yes, in the U.S.A. those are the very fundamental ideals that our country is based on.

So, is it any more important that a group of gay protesters be heard than a religious group?

Is it less valid when a priest speaks his thoughts than a drag queen?

These may seem like ridiculous questions but that’s how I feel the gay community is acting.

Would I want a straight couple to stand on my front lawn, kissing and fondling each other because I’m not heterosexual? No. But I wouldn’t want a gay couple doing it either.

Just as I wouldn’t want that straight couple there, their actions won’t make me change my mind.

I doubt that Chick-Fil-A will change their stance either.

We live in a world where people believe they have to be loud, militant types to have their side heard. The truth is, when you are behaving in the way that reinforces their belief that you are wrong, you only damage your own credibility.

We demand respect, but aren’t willing to give it. We demand equal rights, but protest when another exercises theirs.

How can we be taken seriously as a valid, productive group in society when the most visual are the ones that aren’t?

I told Jenny the other day, “I wave at the people who walk down our street, not because I know them. But because I’d rather be known as that friendly lesbian couple down the street, rather than those mean dykes.”

It’s all about perception. And the image you portray today is the one that will stick for many years to come.

Will I see equal rights for gays and lesbians in my lifetime? I don’t know.

What I do know is that until we stop acting as though we deserve special rights, we’ll never be treated equally.

Karma

Well folks, let’s take a stroll down memory lane.

Remember my old boss? Asshat? Yes, I still harbor ill feelings for this moral sewer.

This morning I got a call. One of my technicians at the firm I worked at called and left a voice message.

“Lee. I just got a call from B-;36:/. He said that Asshats office has been cleaned out and there are cops standing outside of it.”

As soon as I heard this, I sprang into action.

See, this technician could pass for a lesbian. He has a flare for drama that even the most hard core dyke would think was over the top.

So, before jumping up and down with joy, that the universe had finally woke up, I called my old office manager.

When the secretary answered, I was told that the office manager had quit. As had the other supervisor and 3 of my technicians.

When I was there, I was the buffer between the “essential” personnel and Asshat. After I left, everyone became fair game. Because of that, they all left. Everyone except MY secretary.

See, she had been unemployed for a year when she landed that job so she refuses to go anywhere unless she has something else lined up. Hell, I can’t blame her.

The front desk secretary (yes, this firm still calls them secretaries, not receptionists) directed my call to my old secretary.

“OMG! How are you? What are you doing? PLEASE come back!!”

That wasn’t the response I was hoping for, but it did make me feel pretty good.

I’ve always tried to be the type of boss that is strict but fair. I try to take care of my people because I used to be one of them. I started at the bottom and learned first hand what loyalty would be given if a little human decency and professional courtesy was extended.

I explained to her the message I got and asked for clarification.

Apparently, Asshat is “still employed” but that is “pending a criminal investigation.”

Remember that moral grey area I said he lived in? Well, apparently, when the other supervisor and I left, he felt as though the company was his personal bank account.

The rumor is that over 1 million disappeared in less than a year. WOW!!

That’s a lot of greed.

Does this surprise me?

Not really. What surprises me is that it took corporate this long to catch on.

After a brief conversation, I discovered that only 2 of the original crew is still there. My secretary and the front desk secretary. Neither have a college degree. But, because they are all that’s left, my girl is actually running the whole show now!

Good for her!!

But wait. There’s more.

Apparently, the vice president is coming down from corporate tomorrow to assess the damage. Then Monday, the executive VP of CMT is coming in to take over in the interim.

What’s CMT, you ask? Construction materials testing. That was me. What I did/do.

Note, I said “interim

Apparently, the guy that hired me (senior VP guy) is looking to put his ship back together.

So…. My name was thrown out there and I may be hearing from him early next week.

As you’ll recall, I loved my job. Loved what I do. Even enjoyed the company I worked for.

It was Asshat that made the environment toxic.

So, we’ll wait and see.

Jenny commented that, “Maybe this is why God has taken so long. He had to wait until Asshat got caught.”

Whatever the outcome…. I get my job back or not, at least I know Karma is watching.

Tv shows and their rankings in my world

Jenny blogged last night about the tv watching habits in our house.

But, as with everything in life, there’s always a second point of view.

Jenny doesn’t watch much tv. I used to be indifferent to it, but since I’ve been on an involuntary vacation, it has become my main source of company during the day.

I’ve always had a few shows I enjoy watching, but now I’ve got a laundry list of “must see” listings.

As I was reading her list, I was thinking and rating the ones I do like.

What I realized is that I may have a warped since of what is entertainment because a lot of the shows I like have been or are in the process of being cancelled.

So, here sample of the tv sows that I love/loved.

1. Lie to Me.
A show about a brilliant but arrogant man who has mastered the art of reading people’s body language and facial expressions in order to determine their level of honesty.

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Status: cancelled.

2. Dead Like Me.
The show was the funniest dark comedy I’ve ever seen. Thanks to the power of Netflix, I’ve introduced Jenny to it and she likes it too.
It’s about a young woman who is struck down in the prime of life by a piece of falling space debris. More specifically, the toilet seat of a zero G toilet from a space shuttle.
Instead of entering the Pearly Gates, she’s forced to stay here and serve as a Grim Reaper, snatching souls of people so they don’t feel the pain of their gruesome death.

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Status: cancelled.
However, due to the public outrage, Showtime did produce a full length feature movie after it was cancelled.

3. Fringe
This show follows a special division of the FBI that investigates unusual or “otherworldly” events.
Yes, that description sounds like X Files, but the events that are occurring are generally produced due to the existence of a mirror universe. The world that exists at the same time and place as our own but in another dimension.

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Status: final season

4. Dexter
This one probably needs little explanation. It’s about a police blood splatter expert, turned vigilante.
Based on the book Darkly Dreaming Dexter(which I didn’t care for) each season revolves around his search for an elusive killer who is being chased by him and the Miami PD at the same time.

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Status: still airing

4. Weeds
Back when this show first aired, it centered on a young widow trying to support her children, living in the suburbs of California, by selling pot.
But as time has gone by, she’s transformed from a funny, love able, dime bag selling soccer mom, into a hard core, foul mouthed, drug dealing ex con. It seems to have lost some of its charm for me.

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Status: still airing

5. House
This was one of my “go to’s”. The irascible Dr. House was always performing radical and dangerous procedures to his patients, simply to complete a puzzle. He was loud, obnoxious and brilliant. Oh, and a drug addict. Let’s not forget that one.

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Status: cancelled.
But, as a side note, the show bowed out before it got to be “old”. And it ended in such a way that it couldn’t come back no matter how much the public cried. Gotta give kudos for the producers having those kinds of balls.

6. The Walking Dead
A typical post apocalyptic look at a small group trying to survive zombies.
Yes, it’s based on a comic series but it’s got sex, lies, death and zombies. What more could you ask for??

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Status: still airing.

7. Swamp People.
Ok, this is one of those shows that I now watch because I have a personal interest in the show. My daughter, ex, and grandson live in this town. While watching it, I’ve caught glimpses of Shemp in the background, seen shots of the place Dewey used to work and seen folks that I’ve met. So, while its not something I’d normally watch, I’m invested.

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Status: still airing
(did you honestly think I wouldn’t stick a picture of my grandbaby in here somewhere??)

8. Alcatraz
This action drama follows a PhD comic book fanatic who is a leading expert on Alcatraz prison, a SF cop and a small group of specialist who were assigned the task of finding out where the inmates disappeared to, and why they are now reappearing without having aged a day.

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Status: cancelled

Now these are just the biggies. The ones I watch still, even those that have been cancelled.

There are several that are hard to find, even as reruns that I enjoyed when they were on and hated that they were cancelled.

Shows like Jericho, Medium, Ghost Whisperer, The Sara Conner Chronicles, and Flash Forward.

Yes, I like my SciFi. But who doesn’t?

So, that’s my list. Jenny loves her true crime and CSI (which I like as well) but give me a “that couldn’t really happen” show, any day of the week.

Lately, I’ve decided to give Rizzoli and Isles a try. I love Tess Gerritson and if I remember it’s loosely based on her books, I’m ok.

Old stand by’s like Deadliest Catch, Animal Cops and all the DIY shows keep me entertained while flipping through the channels but there really aren’t a lot that still air that I have to see.

Maybe next season will bring me a new favorite to follow!!

Gator hunting 101

Yes, I’ve blogged once today but as I said earlier, I’m bored.

So I have been chatting with Shemp about our new grandson, his job, my job search and alligators.

Now, something you should know about him is that he’s a true redneck. He loves to hunt, fish, collect broken junk that he sees potential in and sees himself as someone that could easily live off the grid.

He is living in Pierre Part, LA. As I’ve stated, this is a small town. Remember me talking about seeing Clint? Well, before Liz Cavalier became a regular on Swamp People, Shemp dated her cousin.

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My daughter, Dewey, used to work at The Rainbow Inn so she has several interesting stories to tell about the Swamp People, too.

Anyways, I digress. Shemp has been wanting to go gator hunting for a long time. Ever since he moved down there about 4 years ago.

Today we were chatting and joking about it when I decided to do some research. “How lucrative is this field?”

Well, come to find out, there’s a reason these guys can get by on just gator hunting.

There are 2 seasons per year. One is 30 days the other is 37. The state of Louisiana will sell a resident a gator license for $25 and the hunter states how many tags they can fill.

People like Troy Landry will sometimes request up to 500 tags.

Anytime you kill a gator, you have to tag it. Regardless of its size or the condition. (like any other sport). But the price for a gator varies.

Anything 4′ or smaller is pretty much useless. (for the record, if a 3′ gator was coming after me, I’d run just as fast as if a 50′ one was)

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5′ is where you start making money. $10 per foot. Then the price goes up $2 a foot until you reach 10′. Then it’s a whopping $22 per foot. WOW.

So, if you do some basic math…. If these guys fill 350 tags with gators they can sell (conservative). And they catch an average of 7′ per gator. That’s over $37,000. Multiply that by 2 seasons and they just made 70 k in 2 months time.

Not bad for a crazy ass in a boat with a gun.

Now, am I going to relocate and change careers? hello! Note the part where I said crazy?

On second thought, it might be a good excuse to go see my grandbaby for 2 months out of the year.

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(yes, if I will show random strangers on the elevator pictures of Little J, you can expect to see them at every opportunity here.)

Plus! I do not have a job.