Thankful 

Julie had her reconstruction surgery and is now a smaller C cup. 

I’m not sure how I feel about her new breasts. Not because I am a “boob” person but because they have an almost Frankenstein-esque appearance. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife and if she had no breasts at all I’d still find her sexually irresistible. It’s just not what either of us was expecting. One nipple appears a LOT larger than the other and the keyhole incision that the surgeon made is blaringly obvious. 

As the surgeon gently removed the “bra” and then cautiously removed her stitches we both just kinda sat there surprised. 

I mean, when she had the first operation to remove the lump, there were the scars that we told ourselves, “when they do the reconstruction it’ll be perfectly normal”

The surgeon insists a lot of the mismatched size and redness is the swelling. We will see. We did a lot of research and even had to pay out of pocket and submit the insurance paperwork ourselves but she is “the best”. Right now we are waiting for her handy work to make itself evident. 

It has only been a week so maybe I just need to be patient. 

On a not so great but not so bad note…when they did the reconstruction they removed the other mass they had found. They also took samples of different areas and sent them off for pathology; the results weren’t great news. 

There are abnormal cells in her ducts. One concern with that is that it doesn’t show on a mammogram so now she has to go in to have blood work and biopsies every three months for a year. If they are normal, it moves to every 6 months for a year and so one and so forth for…..well, forever. 

It’s easier to focus on the possibility that my wife’s breast are deformed and have been mutilated by a surgeons error than to face the reality that she is not even close to being out of the woods yet. 

Whatever the case, she has that anti scar cream that she religiously rubs her chest down with twice a day and she once again allows me to see her topless. The fact that she is still here is enough to make me extremely thankful this Thanksgiving! 

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2 thoughts on “Thankful 

  1. Sometimes we are thankful because not so great news is not bad news. Donna keeps telling me the best thing I can do for her is to be present – emotionally available and patient – both of which are challenges. It is hard not to be able to “fix” things – but no matter how butch I am, I can’t.
    Hope the two of you are able to have some time to relax and recoup together over the holidays.

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