To write or not to write 

Today wasn’t such a great day. 

Julie had her first round of chemo. Yes, I said chemo and not radiation. After much back and forth, her and the oncologist decided that the chemo would be the better route. 

Radiation is 4 times a week and the drive north to get it would be too much trouble. (It’s about a 3 hour drive from where we live)

Chemo, on the other hand is once a week and that seemed more manageable. 

At first Julie wasn’t wanting any of either. She insisted that they had removed the tumor and so it wasn’t necessary. The doctor was a smart ass and told her, “you are a Ph.D. I’m the real doctor.”

I laughed, then quickly turned my head when Julie shot me a look that my mother used to give me when I’d giggle in church. 

There is always the remote possibility that there is still a few cancerous cells lurking in there so they want to make certain. 

I drove up with Julie. Having been through it with my mother, I had a pretty good idea what to expect. Julie had read about it online so she was prepared for the time drain but not the aftershock. 

I asked her to eat a good sized breakfast and take in lots of fluids. 

“I’ll be peeing the entire five hours!”

I was insistent so she did. 

About three hours after the chemo, she was grateful. 

The food had pretty much been digested but at least she wasn’t dry heaving. And she hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast except a few sips of vegetable soup I picked up for her. 

I feel helpless. My wife is sitting in our bedroom in bed watching old episodes of The Tomorrow People on Netflix trying to get enough water and Gatorade in her so when she makes the next mad dash to the bathroom she doesn’t have an empty stomach. 

My mom never had this bad a reaction so I have to admit I am a little surprised. However, as Julie has reminded me, my mother was so damn tough that she walked around on a broken hip for two months before she decided it “bothered” her enough to do something. Therefore, chemo wasn’t about to take her down! 

I’m glad this is only once a week and it’s only for 6 weeks because I don’t know if either of us could take much more of this. 


3 thoughts on “To write or not to write 

  1. I could not give your post a like given the circumstance your wife and you are going through. I pray that all will be well with her and that the treatment she is receiving will be all that she will need. I suspect there will be good moments and not do good moments until her treatment is done but I’m sure that because she has you and the rest of her family with her, everyone will ride the waves so to speak. I will be thinking about you both in the days ahead sending you good vibes and thoughts. Be well.

  2. Julie can reconsider chemo if she can’t tolerate it. There are also other forms and ways to take it. Given how you described her prognosis, you may want to look at other chemo alternatives or the Schlep for radiation. Sorry it is so hard for you both. Best.

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