Jealousy will destroy a relationship faster than just about anything. I should know because I’ve had a few of them bite the dust because of that “green eyed monster”.
I’ve been guilty of it, myself. Worrying that the person my partner is spending time with is getting the time or attention that I should be getting. Even worse, afraid that my partner/girlfriend was sexually involved. Some times this was true, others it’s was just my overactive imagination playing with my head.
Today I’m in Beaumont. Working from my apartment until a meeting at 2 then I’ll be flying up to Dallas and home on Thursday.
I stopped by our field office after my flight got in this morning to get caught up on how the project has been going in my absence. While there, I also chatted with the record keeper assigned to the job.
“Well, Roy didn’t want to go out this weekend. I’m pretty sick of him always wanting to just sit around the house so I went by myself. There was an old boyfriend there and he and I had a good old time! Someone called Roy and boy did he get jealous! Serves him right!”
Now, you all know me. I hear something like this coming out of the mouth of a 45 year old woman and I can’t help but start asking some very pointed questions.
1. Did you and the ex boyfriend “do” anything? Kiss, sex, anything?
2. What are you expecting Roy to do about this?
3. Why in the hell would you want to make him jealous?
4. If you are unhappy, why stay in the relationship?
She looked at me like I’d just sprouted a third eye!
In her mind, if she is desired by someone else, Roy will feel pressured to step up his game and start paying attention to her or someone else will! She admitted she loves him and doesn’t want to be with another man but wants him to be more active.
Ok. I guess that makes sense…if you’re 17!!!
My thoughts? I don’t want to be jealous! I don’t want my partner to be jealous! I like knowing that while I’m away, Julie is faithful to me and she knows I’m faithful to her. It doesn’t mean we are lazy in our relationship, it means our focus is on the relationship!
I want to be able to talk to my partner about everything. I want there to be open and honest communication and the trust that results from that. I want her to know, without a doubt that she is the one I chose and that there are no others that can capture my attention like she does. I want security.
To me, playing these types of games is just manipulative and childish.
I may be naive. I may be a bit judge mental. I may even have this idea that acting in such a way is a symptom of your own insecurity. What I do know is this; I don’t want Julie to ever worry about my ability to remain faithful. Lord knows life gives us enough to worry about without me adding drama to the equation!