Yes. I believe in meditation and energy. I believe there are those who can feel or “sense” things that others cannot. Because of that, this post may seem silly to some, but…it’s my page. So skip it if you don’t believe that there is something tugging at each one of us!
Julie has a way of making life so much better for me. Intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. Today has been no different.
Funny thing is; she hasn’t even realized that she did anything at all.
Someone has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. So much so, that it has consumed almost every waking thought that I’ve had. I have thought and thought about this action and that inaction. I’ve prayed, meditated and even found myself talking to those loved ones that have passed on. (Yes, I’m bat shit crazy at times. Being an analytical, self aware individual makes you that way!)
I had almost given up on being able to get through a day without feeling that tug at me. (I do apologize for being vague. To divulge too much would compromise this persons anonymity. Their story is not the point of my post)
For years, I’ve dreamt of Julie. Some dreams were erotic but most were simply playbacks of the two of us living life. Following routines that most find mundane; a trip to the grocery store. Folding laundry. Even walking to our cars. Nothing at all extraordinary.
In my mind, I see our life play out on a subconscious level. It has given me motivation for work and school. Sort of my soul’s secret way of getting me back on track.
Last night I had some more of these same, mundane dreams. I woke up at 9:05 am and remember laying there thinking how peaceful I felt. I can’t remember the dreams, but I do remember there were several.
She was already up and puttering around the house. When I came out of the bedroom, seeing her made me smile and for some reason, I had a feeling that today would be better…
I’ve gone through my day. Flew back to Texas and while I’ve thought about this individual, those thoughts haven’t consumed me. There were no feelings of anger or resentment. No need to analyze anything that was said or done.
It was a feeling of indifference. Sad, I typically would hate to feel indifferent to someone, but the alternative has been an anger that I don’t want to carry around with me.
What causes this? Was it exclusively my dreams? Did Julie say something in them that eased my mind?
I don’t know.
What I do know is that ever since she has been a part of my life, life seems a little easier to navigate.