Yesterday I made the comment, “don’t tell me to let it go, move on, forget this” in a post.
I received a response that I feel compelled to answer here so that my full intent is understood. (The person that commented used some rather vulgar language which is why I won’t approve it)
We have all done it from time to time. Someone we know is complaining about a problem or heartbreak. Our instinct is to make them stop droning on. The “go to” response?? “Let it go!”
But, how realistic is that? How many times have you been told those words and a switch flipped on in your heart or head and everything was fine? I’ll tell you…ZERO!
If “letting go” of an issue or pain was that easy, people wouldn’t say it. They wouldn’t feel the need to remind us that we are holding on to something better left to the universe.
Millions are spent each year by insurance companies and private individuals in an effort to learn to “let go”
Yes, your comments may cause a person to stop discussing their problem with you, but you didn’t fix anything. In fact, you may have made it worse.
In the last several years, I’ve been very cautious about what I say to a friend in distress. Those words will never cross my lips. Why? Because, any time someone has said, “let it go” to me, I hear, “you are weak!”
After all, if it’s so easy to let it go, I must be defective in some way that keeps me from doing so.
When your friend clams up after you utter these words, you have not made their world better. You have told them that they are weak and they now feel they have to hide their true feelings from you. Way to go!
So…as much as you may want to. As hard as it may be to listen to the same sad, lonely, desperate ramblings of someone, don’t say anything that will leave them feeling any more hopeless.
Is that 20 minutes of compassion and love really so important to you that you refuse to give it away??