Our big day

Last night I announced on here that Julie and I got married.

I’ve seen others post about their big day. Going in to great detail about it and describing all the nervous energy leading up.

I didn’t want to do that.

I feel like I’ve shared so much about Julie and I with the rest of the world that I wanted this to be all ours.

We’ve been planning it for a while. We originally wanted to do it on February 14 (our anniversary) but C made us rethink things.

C told us one night that the relationship she had with her partner was the only one that she ever “chose”. For others, that may sound silly. But, to Julie and I it made perfect sense.

Each of us found ourselves just existing in relationships. Taking them from one level to the next, simply because it was the natural progression. We never “chose” to be in them. They just happened.

This time, it was different. Julie and I chose each other. We knew the obstacles and the “drama” that would accompany our lives and decided that the other person was worth the work.

The flights back and forth, the stolen moments away from prying eyes, the tension associated with family. All these things would scare a sane person away. Well, a sane person or a person who wasn’t completely and utterly in love!

As we sat listening to C talk about her life we began to realize what she was saying and just how fragile life and especially love can be.

Two people found each other. Decided that working together to nurture that love was worth it. And in the end…the universe took it away. Allowing them to glimpse happiness and bliss but not to hold onto it.

As I looked at Julie, I knew she was the only person I ever wanted beside me. The only woman I wanted to hum along to the radio as we drive. The only woman I ever want to pour me a cup of coffee and the only woman I ever want to hold in my arms.

Apparently, she felt that way too.

On my last trip home we decided that we want to be responsible for and responsible to each other. Even if geography made that difficult.

We circled a date and started making plans.

Before you ask, yes, her family was there. Well, all except her Dad. He said that he couldn’t support this.

Julie was sad and disappointed, but our friends and family made it worth while.

My children couldn’t be there. Louie had to work and Huey couldn’t get away from work or school either. Both made it a point to skype with us before our ceremony and I got to see my little man smile and giggle at us before we took this step.

S.I.L was there standing next to Julie. Little H was there with flowers and our rings. At one point she realized that people were staring at her so she came over and “hid” behind my leg.

Julie’s brother even made a showing. He gave me a hug and told me that even though he doesn’t understand, he knows that I will always take care of his sister.

Her mom? She was somber and quiet until after the ceremony. At which time she came to me with a glass of Jameson and Ginger Ale (my drink of choice) and told me, “Julie is the spitting image of me. This is what she will look like in 30 years. Are you ok with that?”

I kissed her cheek and in my best, charm induced bullshit tone said, “if she’s as pretty as you, I’ll be very lucky”

My friend J Will flew in as did Chele and Sheila.

Why didn’t we say anything?

Everyone we know posts their entire lives on social media. Everything from their latest broken heart to what they had for dinner. This is personal for us.

Our lives have come full circle. Two young, reckless teens fell in love and 25 years later are married.

How does this change things? Well, for starters, I’m not going to spend any more time than necessary away from my wife. She is looking at schools in different places that she can work at and, as I said, I’m charging full steam ahead to secure more and more contracts.

I love this woman. In a way that I once thought was not meant for me. I look at her and see someone that I could very easily and very happily grow old with. Someone that I never want to lose.

And…if something tragic happens, as did with my friend, C, I will make sure that Julie knows that she was the only woman capable of holding my heart!


3 thoughts on “Our big day

  1. Getting married should be about commitment, not catering halls, bands, bridesmaids, and the whole wedding industrial complex. Good for you both for deciding what it meant for you as a couple and for doing it in a way that felt intimate and in line with your beliefs.
    One day Donna might give in and marry me, but after 30 years I’m not holding my breath.

    • This was “our” day. We’ve talked about getting married and not getting married. Our biggest push was watching all the legal nightmares my friend went through. Even though they had taken what they and their attorney thought were the proper legal steps to ensure the other would be taken care of, she still has to fight for what should be hers. Simply because she wasnt the “spouse”.
      I never want julie to have to go through that!

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