A few weeks ago I sent an email to a woman that I knew in high school. We weren’t very close, but I remember thinking very highly of her, at the time.
As was common in our community of military brats, her family moved away. To the Midwest, in fact. (Small world, huh?)
I was having a conversation with one of our mutual friends and her name was brought up. “Hey, do you remember Janet? Apparently she is living in that town where your firm is inspecting all those bridges!”
I didn’t think too much about it until recently. In my mind, I thought it might be nice to say hi and see how life has turned out for her. Possibly grab a cup of coffee and catch up on what’s been happening in our respective worlds over the past 27 years. So, I searched the internet and found an email address for her.
“You were brought up in a passing conversation with Felicity a few weeks ago and curiosity got the better of me. I don’t even know if you remember who I am but I was wondering how have you been?”
insert crickets chirping here.
Well, I never got a response. Ok. That’s happened to me before and I know I’ve been the one to refuse contact with someone from my past. I can take a hint. There’s also the possibility that the email address I sent it to is no longer valid. Whatever the reason for the silence, I dismissed it and moved on.
Tonight I get a text from another mutual friend. “Did you contact Janet?”
We began talking about the initial conversation that made me think about her and what prompted me to send her a note. She did get my email. She read it and even thought parts of it were funny. Then she deleted it because she claimed that “no good can come from this!”
Apparently, she saw me contacting her as me wanting to start a relationship with her. WTF???
Now, I’m sure she’s a wonderful woman. She too works for a University and has been successful in her life. I never thought much about it but always assumed she married (a man) and ended up having the proverbial 2.3 children that all women our age are statistically inclined to have. Never imagined she was gay, and quite frankly, never cared either way.
Flash forward 27 years and she has since come out of the closet and is living with her partner of 10+ years (my math may be off but judging from my texts with our friend, that’s the timeline I get)
All I could say to this whole ordeal is “WOW!”
Now, I’ve held a torch for Julie for my entire adult life. But that was different. We were intimately involved with each other. There was no closure or satisfactory resolution to our break up. A long sustaining crush is understandable.
Why this woman would think that after 27 years I’d decide I want to pursue a relationship is beyond me. I don’t even know this woman. Truthfully, I didn’t know her very well when we were kids. (As is evident by me being WAY off the mark with regards to her sexuality)
Do people actually think real life plays out that way?
“I’ll contact so and so. We’ll get to know each other and fall madly, deeply in love!!”
I’m a little taken aback by her thoughts on this. I’ve read and re-read the email I sent her and even forwarded it to Julie, J Will and J Mac. Who knows? I tend to be flirtatious so maybe I inadvertently said something to give her the wrong idea.
The general consensus is a unanimous, “is she crazy??”
I’m not sure what to do with this information. If I were to bump into her while working up there, I’ll feel awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t intend to contact her again, for fear she’ll see that as further evidence of my long distance, long term infatuation.
Everyone I’ve talked to about this that knows her claims she an intelligent, rational woman so her being bat shit crazy doesn’t seem to fit this scenario.
I don’t know what to do.
People that still associate with me, her and Julie might get the wrong idea. Those who don’t know me or know that I’m perfectly happy in my relationship might assume I have ulterior motives for reaching out.
Whatever the case, I think I’ll climb back into my bubble with Julie and silently wish Janet and her partner all the best.
Has this ever happened to you? Someone from your past reaches out and you think they are looking for a romantic connection? Or has someone thought that was your reason for contacting them?
This just blows my mind!!