Every once in a while I get flustered and frustrated with school and work.
Too many tasks and not enough time.
It’s those days of trudging along that I have to force myself to stop and look at the bigger picture. Focus on why I’m doing all this.
My journey to better myself, become more self aware, follow my dreams, started before Julie and I reconnected. It started while I was ending my last relationship and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Because if I lose sight of why I started down this path, I’ll find myself lost and confused again.
I didn’t begin all this so I could have a life with Julie. So I could move to Illinois. I started this so I could finally be the person I’ve always known I was capable of becoming.
Julie was just a pleasant, albeit distracting, addition to my plans. A helpful motivator to push me forward when I feel like throwing up my hands and saying, “Fuck it! I’m done!!”
What has me feeling a little more optimistic today?
Well, grades for this semester have been posted and yes, ladies and gentlemen, I made an A in that God awful Algebra class!!
I also got an A in comp/rhetoric but only a B+ in history.
My overall GPA is now a 3.8 but I can live with that.
Seeing those numbers. Knowing I did it on my own with the support of Julie, my friends and co-workers and all while having to rush up to Illinois to deal with a douche bag of a stalker makes me feel pretty good about myself.
In a few days we are going to San Francisco. Julie is having a friend stay at her house to sit with Murphy and keep an eye on things and Louie will be here to hold down my fort. (I hope she doesn’t burn the house down!!)
When we get back I have a trip to St. Louis for work then I’ll meet Julie in Illinois to start looking at apartments.
Then it’s back to the grind. 6 weeks of Chemistry and Technical Composition. After that, Trig and another History class.
Yes, my plate is full. But so far, things are working out the way I believe they should. Even if it’s not as quickly as I’d like.