Stories that Jenny can’t tell about her students.

For those who don’t already know, my Jenny teaches 5th grade language arts at a local elementary school.

Some (actually most) of the students come from economically disadvantaged homes. So hearing the stories she tells can really make me scratch my head. All I can think some days is, “That poor kid is gonna end up selling crack by 15”

On the flip side, some of the things her kids do is freaking hilarious.

She can’t talk too much about them… But I can.

All names have been changed to keep me from getting sued!

Jenny: Megan, why do you have chopsticks?

Megan: I was using them to eat lunch.

Jenny: what did you have at lunch that would require chopsticks?

Megan: Pizza

——-

Jenny via a text to me: I was talking to the class and turned to write on the board. When I turned around, Megan had reached into her Mary Poppins bag and was wearing a tiara! Wtf?! Where’d she get a tiara?!?

——–

Jenny: Class… Let me ask a question. My kids at home were talking about Kool Aid last night. We don’t drink it much. Do kids still drink Kool Aid?

Larry: Oh yeah! We always drink it!

Jenny: what’s your favorite flavor?

Larry: Flavor? I don’t know flavor. But it’s gotta be red or purple.

——–

Jenny: Now Jason, I know that talking to Donny may seem ok, but we both know I’m much prettier than he is, so look at me!!

——

Jenny: Eduardo, where’s the proof? When you turn in your work you have to show your proof!

Eduardo: Why?

Jenny: cause when I fail you, I’m gonna hold up my sheet and say, “Here’s my proof as to why he has to stay in the 5th grade.” So you might wanna have something to argue that with!”

——-

Jenny: Ok. I want everyone to write one word describing what it’s going to take to pass the STAAR test.

Andre: Man. I can’t use the word focus. I don’t know what else to say.

Michael: why can’t you use focus?

Andre: FO CUS. Two words. Duh.

Jenny: I give up!

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