Yesterday, as I was reading the comment from Jenny’s sister in law, I kept coming back to one specific statement that she made.
She said, “I miss her humor.”
All I’ve been able to think is that if you miss her humor, call her. Ask her to join you for coffee some day. Text her and ask how her day is going. She doesn’t avoid family get togethers by choice. She stays away because she’s been told that if she attends, another part of the family won’t. So that part of the family is invited and she is excluded.
The reality is that her family is aware of what goes on in her life because of things the kids say and these blogs.
If you are reading our blogs, then you obviously have an interest. Why hide that? Why not accept her and the person she is? You’d be surprised to discover she’s still exactly the same.
But, there are a few things that have been going on in our lives that we don’t talk about on the blog and things that the kids aren’t interested in.
Because of that, I’ll share those.
Yesterday Jenny found out that she was a finalist for teacher of the year. She was beaten out by just a few votes, but the fact that she was recognized by her peers is awesome. And I’m very proud of her for it.
The oldest daughter hasn’t been able to talk for several days now because she’s been sick.
Today, the youngest girl is home because she’s sick.
We bought a 4 bedroom house with a study specifically so each one of the kids can have their own space.
The oldest is planning to move in with us full time. I think one of the reasons is the fact that her dads idea for a living space for her is to put sheets up in the dining room for her to sleep, so his new wife’s kids can have her room.
Jenny has been talking about getting a part time job this summer or even teaching summer school. I adamantly oppose this. She became a teacher so she could be home with the kids. To me it’s not worth an extra 3 grand for her to give that time with the kids up.
Jenny and I regularly attend church. Unfortunately we weren’t able to finish our membership class because of the move. But we are planning to attend the upcoming bible study.
We were very disappointed to discover that we won’t be able to attend the mission trip that our church is going on this summer. Jenny’s school won’t be out for summer break yet so we’ll have to try to make the next one.
My oldest daughter is expecting her first child in July. Jenny is excited at the idea of being a grandmother and has even picked out her “grandma” name.
My wasband adores Jenny. My kids adore her, as well. Each one has told me that they are glad I met her.
Jenny specifically picked out a sofa for our new house with a sleeper just so he could stay with us when he visits Louie.
I bought inverted marking paint the other day so Jenny can mark out where she wants her flower beds at the new house. She is excited about having her rose garden and finally having a place for all the plants her mother gave her, that are still at her wasbands.
Jenny is an amazingly caring, sensitive, forgiving and loving person. She is a child of God. She loves unconditionally and doesn’t believe that people are disposable.
She loves her children and me. She has the sweetest laugh and a gentle heart.
She gets embarrassed and apologetic if she accidentally uses a form of profanity when she hurts herself.
I had to throw in these last few things because I feel it’s necessary to remind people, sometimes, that she is still the same person.
She didn’t leave her family. She left her wasband. And she did it over 3 years ago. She doesn’t deserve to be punished by him because she felt it was time to let him have a life with someone that could love him back.
She didn’t leave her parents. They stopped all communications on September 19 because they found out (through her blog) that she was involved with me.
They are also the ones that told her, “We don’t want to hear about anyone you are involved with.”
Kinda harsh. Telling her you don’t want to know then getting upset because she didn’t say anything?
She’s hurt and lost. The man that she would turn to for advice and comfort is now someone that she will debate contacting at all. The same man that she is afraid to have come to our house because it tears her up to see disappointment in his face.
So where does that leave me? Hurt and confused as well. I love her. I want to give her and the kids a loving and comfortable life.
I want her to be happy and to know that she is loved and valued.
I get irascible and temperamental. Because it hurts me to see her hurting.
I want to protect her from pain. But that pain comes from the people you should always be able to turn to. The people you call family and the place you always call home.
So be angry at me. Think I’m vulgar and “all wrong”. But all I can comment on is what I see. What I read. What I hear. If I’m wrong, then prove me wrong. I welcome the opportunity to say I made a mistake. Especially if it means my Jenny can stop feeling like an outsider that’s looking through a window at a family that she used to have.