A Saturday of the blahs

Let me start by saying, I hate not having a job. Yes, I hated my last one. And because I’m logically looking at our situation, I know we will be financially ok for the next 8 months.

But I don’t feel like I’m “contributing”. I get up at 5 every morning. I take Jenny to work, go take care of the animals, run errands so Jenny doesn’t have to go anywhere when she gets off work. I do stuff around the house (laundry, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, etc). I’ve taken care of dinner most of the nights and I take care of Louie’s extra stuff when she gets out of school.

So I do a lot. And I am getting a paycheck. No. Not unemployment. An actual paycheck. Because I had a contract with my last employer, they have to continue paying me. At least for a while.

I had my interview and I’m still looking but my pride and sense of responsibility have me feeling like I should do more.

I guess it’s the whole feeling of uncertainty. I told Jenny last night, “I don’t mind not being able to start working for a week or two, I just wish I knew where I’d be going to work at.”

I know me. I’ve worked 3 jobs before to take care of everything when Shemp was in rehab. If it comes down to it, I’ll get 2 jobs to pay the bills and give us a cushion. But I’ve promised Jenny that for now I’ll wait and see if I can get something in engineering before I do that.

Today we have to go get another vehicle. I know we can afford a car payment easier than we can afford 200 a week in gas because we only have 1 car. But again, it’s another reason I feel I should be working.

Oh, the frustration.


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