Seriously?!?! Slow the fuck down!

What has the past four days involved? Well, let’s start with the incredibly uplifting news (insert sarcastic tone here) that my oldest daughter, Dewey, is pregnant.

Yes, her husband is so proud. Wait, she’s not married. That’s ok. I’m gay so it’s not like I have the right to expect my 18 year old daughter to make wise choices.

Next? Well, Larry had a complete meltdown and decided to tell a friend of hers that I “hit” her. When in actuality I told her, “Stop screaming at your mother!” yes, the drama that was created from that event.

Then, the realization that I think I’m being blackmailed by Moe, to marry Jenny before we were ready to.

Apparently he can’t feel at peace in the house because we sleep together and aren’t married. So, the solution? Hurry up and get married.

Then today, Jenny and I have the discussion about why I’d prefer that she NOT keep her wasbands last name after we are married.

And people wonder why I drink so much beer!

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