I’m a planner. A “plan B” type of person. I like knowing what I’m gonna do and how I’m gonna react when life throws me a curve ball.
I’ve had relationships in the past where this caused serious issues and arguments.
With SIW, I was always planning for how I was going to bail her ass out of whatever nightmare she found herself in next. She accused me of being too rigid because that. Ironically, even after we split up, she’d call me in a panic because she knew I’d be able to think of a solution to solve whatever crisis she found herself in.
At work, I’ve always been good at seeing the potential problem areas and plotting out the remedy for those “just in case” moments. An undiscovered gas line that wasn’t mentioned on the plan sheets, morning fog that would limit visibility or even a freak ice storm. I remember building “The Domain” in Austin one winter when just such an event happened. Did we get the job done? Hell yeah, we did! Because I was smart enough to realize that all I had to do was control my little part of the world. So, we took out blow torches, heated up the soil, and placed asphalt to all the entrances! Job done!
My home life is no different. I would love to have days where I lay on the couch until noon in my slippers, drinking coffee. And often times I do indulge in more laziness than I really should. But realistically, that’s not an option. I’ve got 6 kids and a wife. Two hogs and chickens to take care of and 2 separate houses to maintain. I also have an unrewarding job that demands more energy than I’ve ever had to deliver.
So what happens? I usually get pissy and irritated when things don’t get done.
Jenny noted that if we don’t eat lunch until 2, we probably won’t want to eat supper until after 7. That’s true. But the way my brain is wired is this… If we don’t eat supper until 7, we won’t get to play the board game that the kids were wanting to play because it’ll be too late. The laundry won’t get done because we’ve sat around too long. Louie won’t get to eat dinner with the rest of the family, cause the pigs still need her attention.
Yeah, maybe I over think things. It makes me tense some days. But I’d rather be prepared than let life bite me in the ass and feel like I’ve let my wife and kids down.
Hopefully, I’ll find that happy medium. Until then, here’s hoping I don’t push everyone around me to the point of exhaustion because my to do list is way too long.