Not every minute of every day at work is a pain in the ass.

I actually enjoy the time that I spend joking and laughing with my techs and other engineers. The ladies up front have even gotten where they are loosening up too.

Thought I’d share some of the things that make me laugh. Please. Keep in mind we do work construction. Some of the things we say and hear are off color, vulgar and offensive.

So, if you are sensitive, you may want to read something else.

Jay: How the fuck did y’all hijack a plane? You can’t even figure out how to USE the box knife?!?!

Kavin: hey! That wasn’t me! I don’t know who those guys were!!


Sonny: excuse me? My uterus is not a GPS tracking device for your lost crap!!


Dee: Lee, do you want me to file this in the system or just in the hard file?

Me: Actually, my give a shit hasn’t clocked in yet. When it does, I’ll let you know.


Me: Hmmm. Christmas party with Asshat and free beer or a Christmas party with no booze but no Asshat? Church it is!!


Louie (she comes to work with me sometimes) : Hey! You don’t have any good office supplies to steal! TxDOT’s stuff is better!!


Habib: My wife left me today. Do you think I could convince her to come to the Christmas party anyways? She’s a bitch, but if I get her drunk she might still have sex with me!


Jay: I should have known. Since everything is going smoothly, Asshat needs to feel more in control. So he’ll be by to fuck our system up again! And there he is! At least he’s dependable.


Kavin: My back hurts!

Brian: If you wouldn’t stick your head so far up your ass, it wouldn’t.


Juli: (paging me on my office phone) Lee? Qal Tek on line 1.

Me: Tell them I’m not in, I’ll call them back.

Juli: ok. I thought you were in?

Me: go back to your puzzles, kiddo. It’s gonna be a long day for you.


Greg: Lee! Did we get our Christmas bonus yet?

Jay: Of course we did. I took the liberty of cashing yours as payment for putting up with your shit. Your welcome!


Bill: there’s really no nice way to say this, so I’ll just say it… Kavin is a dumb ass. But not your run of the mill dumb ass. No. He’s the grand poobah of the dumb ass clan.



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