There are certain things in life that I have to laugh about. If not, I’d probably make myself crazy from frustration or I’d snap and end up in prison.
As a supervisor, I fully expect to have “difficult” employees.
But I will be the first to admit that I would rather supervise 830 women, over 13 men, any day of the week.
If I tell a woman, “I need you to go to this location. Fill a bag with the big pile of dirt that they have there. Then bring it back to me.”
Odds are I’m not just going to get a bag of dirt; I’m going to get a bag of dirt and she will have found a way to color coordinate it with whatever she’s wearing that day.
If I say the exact same thing to one of “my guys”, I get these types of responses:
“where’s the bags? How do I get there? Am I getting paid for this? Is there a Chik Fil A between here and there? I want to play soccer tonight. Will I be done in time?”
Then when I do finally get the requested bag of dirt, it’s not even dirt. It’s rocks or trash or sand or concrete.
If I tell a woman, “We have a meeting at 7 am”
She will think to herself, I’ve got to be at work at 6 anyways, so I shouldn’t be late.”
I tell my guys this and I hear “WHAT? Why do we have to be here so damn early? Am I getting paid for this?”
It doesn’t matter that their work day generally starts at 6 am so this is actually an hour later and they’ll be here anyways!
I tell a woman. “I’ll be working in the field on Thursday. I’ll be available by phone but won’t have access to the network. ”
Her thoughts are, “if I need something, I should probably call someone else or figure out how to handle it myself”
My guys? “Lee! I had a blow out. Can you call AAA for me? Can you pull up your email and tell me what time we are supposed to go to NASA next Tuesday? Am I getting paid for this? I lost my keys. Can you get me a spare?”
I tell a woman, “If I don’t have your timesheet on my desk by Monday morning at 7, I can’t get it submitted to corporate in time to cut you a check Friday.”
Her thought process is, “I don’t work Saturday or Sunday. So I’ll just turn it in Friday and I won’t have to worry about it. ”
My guys? “Bullshit! You better fuckin pay me! I know you said Monday morning but I overslept so here it is… On Tuesday. Am I getting paid to fill this out? ”
My all time favorite?
I tell everyone. And I do mean EVERYONE! “I am salaried. I work 6:30 am to 4 every Monday through Friday. I am not going to come in on Saturday or Sunday. So if you call me, it had better be an emergency!!”
A woman? “any problems I have I can handle on my own until Monday. I’ve been doing this for several years so I can figure most things out.”
My guys? “Lee! I left my air meter at the office. Even though I have the phone number for the guys working, will you call them? Or better yet, bring it to me yourself? Can I get paid for this call? What time am I supposed to be at NASA on Tuesday? ”
I guess that’s what it’s like to have a husband? I’m constantly taking care of grown men that are helpless, clueless, and some days argumentative that I never have sex with?
Yep, kinda sounds like a straight couple to me!!