I’ve taken Louie to school, fed the animals, and finished all the laundry, dishes and have even managed to get the kitchen and master bath packed up.

In fact all that’s left in the master bedroom is the bed and night stand. The guest bedroom just has a tv and air mattress that needs packed away. And the living room is basically just a catch all for stuff that’s being donated or tossed.

So logically, I’ve gotten a lot done. I was hoping to tackle the garage tomorrow. There’s not much in there so other than the camping gear and what few tools I have, most everything will be thrown away.

Saturday? Well, that’s the day for the lawn and for Louie to finish up her stuff.

Then on Sunday I’m going to clean the carpets and hopefully start hauling the trash off. (that kinda made me sound like one of those people you see on tv that’s knee deep in junk. Lol)

Monday? Well, that’s where the interesting part comes in…. We will be processing the chickens.

Yep. We have to do that ourselves. The buyer that purchased the 5 that went to the show is supposed to get them by next Saturday. With all the moving, cleaning, job hunting, and school stuff, I figure we need to just get it done and might as well do it here so we can haul off the mess with the trash.

It sounds pretty gruesome. And considering we are going to be doing all 23, it might look that way by the end.

But I’ll have everything set up out back, bleach on hand and we’ll have the kitchen here to wash and seal them.

Not looking forward to it. But, it has to be done.

After all that is said and done, I get to take a break. Wait. No I don’t. I have to then go rent the trailer, load it and the truck up and move everything.

I think I’d rather be at work on a construction site. At least there I’d get some rest.

We are moving. Actually, if we are going to be technical about it, we are packing. On second thought, even that’s not accurate. I’m packing so we can move.

There. Much better.

I’m not upset about that. I’m not working, so instead of sitting home all day it makes sense that I’d be the one to pack up.

We are actually moving in “stages”. First the house. Louie and I don’t spend much time there and I’ve given notice to my landlord so on the 3rd of March, we can officially “vacate the property”.

Since we close on the 29th of February, it’s perfect timing.

I want to have the entire house packed up and ready to go by the 1st. By the 3rd, I’d like to have all the cleaning and lawn stuff done so the new tenants can just move right in.

The apartment will wait until spring break when Jenny is off work.

See, we weren’t planning to be able to close as quickly as we did, so we will be paying rent on the apartment until May. That sucks, but being able to consolidate the two households will make the peace and quiet that we’ll have well worth the money.

Today I did my usual routine. I got up, took Louie to school then to the apartment. See, I was at the house late packing, so Louie and I slept there.

It’s the first time I haven’t slept in the same bed with Jenny in months. And to be honest, I didn’t like it. But, I digress.

A while back we went ahead and had the Internet and cable turned off at the house since we weren’t ever there to use it. So after dropping off Louie, I went to the apartment to do my daily job search. Submitted a resume (there was only one job posted that was in my field) and then took care of the pig.

Then I came back to the house to start packing. (I guess resume would be a better phrase)

I’ve been diligently at it since 9 this morning. Now, at almost 1, I feel exhausted, there’s shredded paper and Knicks knacks scattered everywhere. Boxes stacked chest high in every room and laundry continuously going.

Progress? Right?

I’m sure it’s progress. But right now it just looks like a giant mess. And everywhere I look I see more stuff to pack.

I remember when I moved from my apartment to here. The packing took a week, the unpacking took a weekend.

But in the end, I’m beginning my new life with Jenny.

I’m excited, exhausted, hungry and impatient.

I’m grateful, on one hand, to be able to get so much accomplished during the days; but frustrated that I haven’t found a job yet.

I know. All things in due time. I just wish God would jot down his schedule for my life inMY datebook once in a while.

For now? I’m starving. Starbucks is not real sustenance and I should probably eat.

Fingers crossed. We have a great home, terrific kids and each other. Now if I could find a job that makes me happy and pays the bills, life would be perfect!

Jenny and I don’t agree on certain things. She wants stainless appliances but I’m ok with just solid black. I want a new, comfy chair to call my own. She thinks that can wait. New, bigger house also means we need to have rules for the kids to follow. We don’t agree on all those either. But, we are getting there.

I still don’t have a job. I’ve had 3 promising interviews, but no word back from any. The last one they told me that construction won’t start until May, so it’s possible I may hear back later. Unfortunately, I can’t hang my hat on that.

So I get up each day and look for work. I take care of the pig that’s left and then try to deal with stuff for the move: transferring utilities, mail, packing, pricing appliances, ughhh!

It’s all exhausting and exciting at the same time.

I’m glad I have this time to off to get this stuff done but I feel like I’m not providing for my family. Yes, I’m getting a check. Yes, I still have medical insurance for me and my kids. But I’m old school. You get up and go to work, every day.

I know God will provide. And I know that things don’t happen when I want but when I need.

I’m still an impatient little cuss so I’m struggling.

Louie did sell her pig. Not as much as she’d have liked to have gotten but at least there’s one less mouth to feed. Literally.

Jenny and I finalized some of the paperwork on the house and are set to close on the 29th of February.

It was an emotional week for Jenny too. Saturday, as we were making trips to different home improvement stores, she decided to call her brother. Apparently he and his wife have an antique piece of furniture that belongs to Jenny and she wanted to see if she could get it when we move.

As I was driving, I noticed that she was crying. When she got off the phone she said that her brother had made comments about her “hiding” her life from her parents. That she didn’t need to flaunt information about her personal life with them but that she should take a “don’t ask, don’t tell” position.

Although he wasn’t intentionally mean to her, it hurt her. And it pissed me off.

I’ve commented on here in the past that she isn’t blogging as much as she used to. She says that its because of our limited free time. But that day she admitted that it was more than that.

She doesn’t want to “offend” any of her family with her blog.

That pissed me off too. They had the audacity to “throw her away” and now they want to dictate what she can and can’t write on her own blog?

Her sister is the most vocal and judgmental. Jenny will defend her family to the bitter end, and that is definitely noble. But, I have no loyalty to these people. It’s not because I don’t see myself as family. It’s because they are so self absorbed in their own personal beliefs that no matter what type of human being I am, I could never be of any value as a person simply because I’m gay.

So, here’s my little note to her family:

Get off the cross. Someone else needs the wood. You act as though you have all the answers and know exactly what is in God’s mind and heart.

You discarded your child, sister and in law. You don’t contact her or acknowledge her existence during times of family significance. You sneak around to interact with her, like some teenager that’s going against their parents wishes.

You tell her “I’ll pray for you” and it is tinged with an air of superiority.

Then you have the audacity to insist that she censor herself in the only forum that she’s ever felt comfortable in.

Yeah, fuck off!
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If your sense of decency is offended because she talks about what we had for dinner, what we discussed while laying in bed on a Saturday morning, or how we plan to celebrate an upcoming birthday, then don’t read her blog! In fact, if her little tid bits sting a little too much, then I’m sure you might want to stop reading what I’ve got to say. I’m not nearly as nice and polite as she is about matters as important as family.

Don’t think that you have the option of dismissing her from your life, then demand that she bow to your wishes. It doesn’t work that way.

She is the sweetest most forgiving person that I’ve ever met. And quite frankly, I believe that all of you are taking advantage of that.

Either be her father, mother, brother, sister, in law, etc. and do what the rest of the world does (simply agree to disagree but love her anyways) or butt the fuck out!

Those are your options. Because you have no right to continue to cause her pain because you have this over inflated sense of morality because you believe that you are “closer to God” than she is.

Now. I have to go get boxes, switch utilities and start packing for our upcoming move. Yes, I said our! We bought a house together. It is where WE will be living with OUR children. So, if you’ll excuse me. I have things to do to ensure that MY family is taken care of before our move.

To the rest of my readers, I hope you have a fabulous day and be good to each other.

This pretty much sums up how I feel today.

How I felt yesterday.

And how I think most days.

A WTF?!? moment.

This is my, “I feel your frustration” moments.

And this is our new house. We close on the 29th.

The past several days have been a roller coaster. I’m running hot and cold. Poor Jenny is just “running”. Actually, it’s more like “pouring”. The house, kids, bills, a conversation with her brother, the weather, Louie, my grumpiness… It seems like she’s been crying over the slightest thing.

So, since I’m at a loss for words, I give you a visual of my emotions.

Louie has been working her butt off for 6 months raising her pig. She goes to the barn twice a day and spends hours feeding, walking, cleaning, bathing, and caring for her pigs.

Yesterday was the big day. She had her show and everyone was convinced that she was going to walk away with Grand Champion.

Potential buyers were looking at the pig. Commenting on her definition and temperament. Impressed with how well this pig had developed over these past few months. Even her teacher told her, “You have the perfect hog!”

The moment of truth: she steps out into the show pen. Her, the pig, and 27 other pigs and their handlers. As her teacher said, “She showed the fire out of that pig!”

Three fights broke out during show and an aggressive hog came over and started biting Louie’s pig. But she handled it like a pro. Maneuvering her away from the skirmishes and always staying in the line of sight of the judge.

This was the 3rd weight class of pigs. During the first two, comments from the spectators was made like, “What’s that judge doing?”,”Why did he pick the pig? It’s too fat?”

After about 20 minutes of walking Bubbles (her pig) around the judge, he had released all the kids but her. She wasn’t chosen to go on to the second round. He walked up to her and flatly said, “Your pigs is too stiff.”

Louie graciously shook his hand, thanked him for his time and led her pig back to the holding pen. It was there that she broke down and cried.

As a parent, I had to muster the strength to not cry myself.

People walked up to me and said he was wrong. But the decision had been made and we had to accept it.

We finished up our day and came home. Both of us sad and disappointed.

When we got home, Jenny and I took her out for ice cream. It was then that Jenny told me we got the house.

Funny, what should have been the best day of our life turned out to be a day of learning for Louie.

We aren’t always recognized for our hard work. We don’t always get what we feel we deserve. And life isn’t always fair.

Today we go to the auction. If Louie can get a good offer, she’ll sell her pig. If not, her dad will take her back to Louisiana and breed her.

I’m proud of Louie. She gave up her weekends and fee time to raise this pig. And she did one hell of a good job.

She has one more pig to show. That one will be at The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. She’s an awesome kid and an amazing farmer. So no matter what, she’ll do great!

Yes, it’s a brand new home. We were desperately trying to avoid that, but older homes just aren’t big enough for me, her, 5 full time kids, my wasband (he’ll probably end up living with us off and on at some point), my oldest, her baby (yes, she’s due in July) and a dog and cat.

So, our realtor broke down and took us to look at a few new homes that were just built. The second Jenny walked in, she fell in love. I knew that this would be “home”.

But, getting to the point of finding this place took a lot of hours looking online, driving through neighborhoods, reading ads and walk throughs.

One thing that is just as true today as it was 10 years ago (when I purchased my house in Austin) is that everyone wants to church up their descriptions.

These can be as harmless as calling a carport a “porta carchere”.

Some, however, are blatantly misleading. And because of that, I’ve decided to put together this quick guide to help you muddle through the bullshit. After all, time is money. And why waste time or money on a home that isn’t what you hoped for?

1. With a little TLC, this homes lawn could be majestic again.

Ok. Anything that says, TLC is a runner. Unless you are doing a documentary about lawn restoration or have a nearly limitless landscaping budget, move on. Click the arrow to the next property. Cause in your mind, they want you to see this…

But what you are actually getting, is this….

2. Historic home full of original features!

This house was probably a McMansion in it’s heyday. But it’s time has come and gone. “original” in this instance means nothing is up to current building codes and you are about to find yourself drowning in debt.

3. Lakefront property!

Or any mention of water that doesn’t have a hefty price tag. Afterall, living on the beach ain’t cheap!

4. Lot’s of extras!

This means you get to haul off the old owners junk. You could leave the moth eaten sofa in the garage for “entertaining” but only if you are current on all vaccines. Including hepatitis.

5. Fix ‘er upp ‘er. Or even “Handy mans dream”!

This house used to be a meth lab. Walk away! Just turn around and walk away!

Now, I realize that not everyone can afford to purchase the home of their dreams. But hopefully, this list will help you navigate through the flowery and cut to the meat of the ad.

Happy house hunting!

Right now we are literally throwing away $1400 a month. I live in the apartment, but because of my lease, I’m still paying for the house.

After all the numbers are crunched, we will be paying about the same for a house that we are paying for the apartment but we will have space!

All the kids will have their own space, Jenny and I will have an area that we can watch tv or movies while the kids can play Xbox or watch tv in another room, and we can fit more than one person in the kitchen at once. I know. It is pretty darn close to nirvana!!

The end result is awesome. Getting there is like anything else worthwhile, though. It’s frustrating, annoying, exhausting and scary.

I know I’ll get a job. Jenny knows I’ll get a job. We don’t know what or where, but I refuse to not provide for my family. Until then, my mind is engaging in war with itself: “you’re buying a new house and you don’t have a job? Are you crazy?!”, “we have to live somewhere. We might as well be saving money and have more space where we eventually end up.”

The logical fighting the traditional.

It’s causing tension. I’m short and temperamental. Jenny is emotional. The kids are feeling left out because we aren’t really letting them have a say. Even the dog is lost.

But, we have our moments. There’s excitement, optimism, and laughter. Shit, the way our moods are swinging, I wonder if we are looking for a house or going through menopause!

Jenny and I both have a deep trust in God’s grace. He will take care of us. If we have to work too hard, then it isn’t meant to be. That may sound lazy. It may seem naive. But up until now, that mentality, combined with our own “conservative natures” have served us well.

Today we got an email from our realtor. It included about 32 houses. From those we whittled it down to 7 possibilities based on price, location, work that needs done, etc. After driving to the neighborhoods we then culled the list down to only 3. One had an apartment building in the backyard (not literally, but damn near), 2 were less than 50 feet from a creek that floods, etc.

Then after even further examination the list was dropped to only 2. The one we actually LOVED was a headache waiting to happen. A foreclosure that has had 2 offers that were pulled after the home inspection.

So, we will look at 2. Add that to the 1 that we’ve seen that is still up to snuff and we’re on the right track.

If we can keep from killing each other, or sleeping with a pillow between us, we could find ourselves living happily ever after!

Me: No. But you’re just gonna change it around anyway so why mess with it?

Jenny: What do you mean I’m gonna change it.

Me: If I put it where it rolls front to back, you’ll change it where it rolls back to front.

Jenny: Oh. Do you prefer it to roll front to back?

Me: No. Doesn’t really matter to me.

Jenny: OMG! Then put it on the damn holder!

Me: Next thing you know, you’ll be wanting me to do everything. Like pick up my own socks or something.

Do I know anything about this? No. But apparently my rep at TWC felt that I met the minimum qualifications and the director of HR referred to my resume as “impressive and confident”.

That made me feel like I was being a bit arrogant. But should I feel that way? A resume isn’t a poem or short story. It’s simply a document where you have to highlight you knowledge, skills and ability.

Yes, I’ve won awards and been published. Why wouldn’t I share that information with prospective employers? I’m good at what I do and I’m willing to work hard to be the best. As a supervisor, I wanted to know these things.

Well, about 2 hours after receiving my resume, they called me to schedule an interview.

I have a degree in engineering. Civil, but it does fall into the “engineering” category. I’ve worked with mechanical engineers who were tasked with designing concrete. So I suppose it’s not a huge stretch. We do math. We read blueprints, schematics and plans. I guess the “fine print” isn’t as important.

Jenny isn’t so sure about this job, and neither am I. I’m still getting a paycheck from my last employer so it’s not as though I have to take any job right now. But, I feel like I’m not being productive.

It’s that damned work ethic again. I’ve been out of work for 3 weeks. I am keeping myself busy trying to oversee the chores around the house like laundry, cleaning, shopping and managing the kids needs. I have kept up my crazy schedule of taking care of the pigs and chickens, so my days are pretty full.

Am I trying to talk myself out of this job? Maybe. I keep wondering if this is a place I could be happy.

It’s only 15 minutes from where we live now, and I’ve done my research and it seems like a reputable company. Basically, I’m going in to this interview with the attitude that if God has decided that this is where I should be, it’ll fall in to place.

Please, don’t get me wrong. I am extremely grateful to have this opportunity. An interview is the first step.

I may be getting all worked up over nothing. They may spend 10 minutes talking to me and decide I’m not even close to being a good match for their company.

I guess the fact that I still haven’t heard anything (anything) from the other job I applied for has me a little twisted up inside.

That job description read as though they’d cc’d my resume. And I didn’t hear a word back. So maybe my concerns are more fear of further rejection?

Well, whatever the case, it’s all in God’s hands. I’ll go in there, show them what I’ve got. Be honest about what I don’t know and see where I end up at the end of the day.

Fingers crossed. I’ll keep you posted!